


Oh how I wish I could see you tonight

by FloJoUno



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blind Character, I don't know what else to tag, I'm new to this, M/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9725864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloJoUno/pseuds/FloJoUno
Summary: “You could live easy without a soulmate or colors, you basically live most your life without them!”Mark stirred his his wedge-cut french fry in his ketchup, angrily tapping his fingers against the table. Tyler only rolled his eyes, sipping on his banana milkshake, bored of the rant he’s heard one too many times.“Listen dude, like I’ve said literally a million times, think about how your soulmate will feel when you turn her down just because of your selfish beliefs.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was something i wrote on my tumblr and decided to put here!

What is a soulmate?

No one really understood why the world had a black and white outline. Or the fact that they could only see one color, and especially the point where whenever you lock eyes onto a special person, everything suddenly has color.

But how on earth would that work for Ethan?

Ethan shook out his slightly too long hair, running his fingers through the fluffy mess. Stretching out his back, he let out a large yawn, raising his body on the tips of his toes. Walking a few inches on his tippy-toes, he pulled his arms above his head, taking a huge breath in.

Landing back on flat feet, he gave the world a crooked smile, wiggling his toes on the cool wooden floor. Slowly, he ran his fingertips across the wall as he idly walked out the bathroom, his other hand tapping his thigh as he hummed a soft tune. Accidentally crashing into his bed from the short distance, he cautiously sat on top, patting around to find his remote for the stereo system.

The loud patting alerted his large husky, making her trot over to the side of the bed, sitting proudly beside him as she stared upwards at him. Wrapping his fingers around the cold remote, Ethan felt around the buttons, turning on the music. Hearing the soft sounds of “Fog Lake - Push” play, Ethan sat cross-legged, moving his hand to pet his husky, Saerla.

Ethan has been blind since birth, but that’s ok! He’s been dealing with it his whole entire life. Who cares if he’s never seen color before, or what he looks like, or his parents, or what Saerla looks like.

On second thought, it’s not alright, but what can he do? Probably just wait until Saerla dies of old age, get another seeing-eye dog, and start again. How will he even get a soulmate if he doesn’t get that magical moment where everything is absolutely beautiful, bursting with color? What’s the point if he can never experience it?

Why even try at all?

=+=+=

Mark fucking hates the way you find soulmates.

He doesn’t understand why you have to look them in the eyes.

Why do you have to look anyone in the eyes? Why is that so important to everyone? You could just be born seeing all the colors instead the bullshit outlines. Hell, who even needs colors? What makes them so fucking great that everyone wants to find their soulmate so bad?

“You could live easy without a soulmate or colors, you basically live most your life without them!”

Mark stirred his his wedge-cut french fry in his ketchup, angrily tapping his fingers against the table. Tyler only rolled his eyes, sipping on his banana milkshake, bored of the rant he’s heard one too many times.

“Listen dude, like I’ve said literally a million times, think about how your soulmate will feel when you turn her down just because of your selfish beliefs.”

Stuffing the fry into his mouth, Mark pouted at him, his thoughts rapidly moving around. Seeing people going towards their table, Mark’s eyes darted upwards for a second, seeing Bob and Wade, immediately feeling his shoulders move down. Glaring back at his food, he sighed, bringing his eyes up for a moment to Bob.

“So, Bob, are colors -”

“- Colors have been the best thing besides a soulmate and you should definitely strive to find yours.”

Shutting his mouth, Mark blushed as his friends erupted in laughter, staring at his cheeseburger in embarrassment. He hooked ankles with himself and froze, frantically thinking that someone was staring at him from the table beside them. He held his breath, attempting to go as still as possible, never looking anywhere else but his plate.

Mark has anxiety, especially social anxiety. Of course most of his frustration for soulmates came from this because of the obvious fact he struggled making eye contact, whether to find his soulmate or not. Being in public places was never easy for him, talking to people he didn’t know or wasn’t 105% comfortable with was extremely difficult, and just any interaction with another human was hard.

“So Mark, don’t you see the color gray?”

Wade turned towards his friend, putting his cheeseburger down for a moment, staring at him curiously.

“I think so, but it’s not the regular gray eyes people talk about.”

“What do you mean?”

When you’re little, usually teachers hold up a giant sign with colors on it. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, brown, black, gray, white. And most of the time kids would yell which color they could see, and sometimes the teacher would bring out a tiny little box with different variations of hazel and mixed green, blues, and browns.

But Mark could never see the colors, he only saw this weird color of “gray” that he rarely ever sees. It always confused him, his friends, his teachers and parents, no one understood why he could only see it. His parents tried to raise his spirits by telling him that he was special, but it only scared him more. He always wanted to just fit in.

“Never mind, it’s not important. I’m not going to find my soulmate anyways.”

Bob rolled his eyes, stealing some of Wade’s fries since he forgot to order some of his own. Tyler only nudged Mark’s shoulder and shook his head in disapproval.

Mark silently sat and ate while his friends joked about, not bothering to invite him in the conversation.

“What if your soulmate dies before you lock eyes with them?”

Mark’s eyes and voice didn’t move as he slowly spoke, feeling all of his friends tense around him. They all looked at each other, then back at Mark, their minds empty from the shock. Feeling uneasy from the persistent staring, Mark stiffened even more, feeling his heart beat hard in his chest.

Wade cleared his throat, letting out a tiny laugh, trying to find another topic to talk about. Tyler continued to sip on his milkshake, patting Mark’s thigh lightly, giving him a soft smile.

=+=+=

Ethan placed a beanie on top of his head, patting his sweater down as Kathryn scratched behind Saerla’s ears. Taking a deep breath, Ethan grasped Saerla’s leash between his warm fingers, attempting to smile at Kathryn. Opening the door, Kathryn waited for her friend to walk through, locking the front door behind her.

Hopping inside of the car, Kathryn drove them to the nearest Barnes and noble, planning to find some books she was looking for, and some vinyls Ethan would enjoy. Ethan slightly bounced in his seat, grinning from ear to ear, his excitement bubbling.

Even though he knew he’d get weird stares if he went into a bookstore while being blind, he still felt so happy to be coming. Like his motto, “I may be blind but that’s fine!” he wasn’t going to let a couple of strangers bring him down, especially when he’s with Kathryn. He had just gotten a vinyl player as a gift and he sure as hell was going to use it.

Slowly pulling into the large packed parking lot, the duo exited the car into the cool air, Saerla shaking her fur. Gripping her leash tightly, Ethan started to walk forwards, Kathryn strolling on beside him.

“What type of books are you looking for?”

“I’m not sure, I usually look for the most artistic book covers and go from there. I’ll more than likely get a fiction book, preferably a non-romantic one.”

“What’s wrong with romance?”

“It’s all the same bullshit. Either it’s a cheesy story about finding your soulmate or a rebellious one where you fall in love with a person who isn’t.”

Ethan nodded with a thoughtful look, halting when Saerla stopped moving, bringing his foot up to step on the curb. Kathryn held the door open, holding it for a few more seconds for the people leaving the store. Leading Ethan to the vinyl section, she left to the escalator, travelling to the books.

Saerla sitting beside his feet, Ethan flicked through the albums, struggling to read which ones were in his hands. Sighing with frustration, he quickly turned and took a step, crashing into someone.

=+=+=

Mark stuffed his hands into his pockets, following Tyler into the car. He watched his feet, scared that he might trip over them and fall, accidentally kicking his achilles from concentrating too hard. Tyler opened the car door for him, jokingly bowing, causing Mark to flip him off. Chuckling at his foolishness, Tyler closed the door, getting in on his side.

Slowly turning on the radio, they rode in silence for a minute before Tyler got irritated by it.

“So, where’re we going?”

Mark stared down at his hands, tensing up at the question, his mind immediately turning blank. He held his breath, desperately trying to find something before Tyler gets annoyed by him not saying anything. His first thought was the grocery store, but he found that stupid, like all his thoughts and everything about him.

“Barnes and noble it is!”

Tyler softly smiled at Mark, rubbing his thigh in a supportive way. Mark started to pierce his thumbnail into his fingers, kicking himself in his brain for completely screwing everything up. Taking a deep breath, he looked out the window, mumbling something under his breath.

“Hm? What was that?”

“I was just wondering, like, what my soulmate might be doing right now.”

“Oh? Interested in your soulmate now? What a turn of events!”

“Shut up! I’m just curious about it. What is she doing, does she think this is all stupid like I do, and if she’s wondering if we’ll ever meet?”

“Mark, you’re 19! You’re still young! You’ll find her, whether you want to or not.”

“I doubt it.”

Giving him a teasing glare, Tyler shook his head at him, turning swiftly into the parking lot. Rolling his shoulders, Mark exited the car once it was fully parked, stretching his arms. Tyler laughed, jogging over to his side, ruffling Mark’s little too long hair. Blushing, he ran ahead, attempting to avoid stepping on the plants.

Strolling inside, Tyler glanced around, forgetting about Mark when he stepped on the escalators. Mark quietly walked with his head down, lifting it every once and a while to read the signs above his head. He wanted to find the least crowded areas since he didn’t really want anything.

Seeing the sign for the arts and crafts books, Mark speed walked towards the almost empty area, suddenly getting hit by something. Frantically, he lifted his head to apologize, stopping when seeing the person in front of him with the same color gray he sees. He stared into his eyes, feeling intense panic erupt through him, quickly looking around and seeing the world fill with color. Gasping, he covered his mouth with his hand, tearing up at the beauty of it all, and the fact he just met his soulmate.

“Excuse- Excuse me? I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to crash in to you -”

“- You’re my soulmate.”

“W-What?”

Both men were barely whispering, their surprise limiting their voice. Saerla sat down, staring at Mark who was still seated on the floor. Tears streamed down Mark’s face as he stared all around him, seeing all of it in color, blinding him. He looked back at Ethan, staring at him strangely.

“Can’t you see it? Didn’t you notice all the colors suddenly burst?”

“I’m sorry mister - is it still appropriate to call you mister? Is soulmate better? I’m not sure, but anyways. I’ve been blind since birth, I can’t see anything at all.”

“Oh my god, are you joking? You never got to see anything at all? You can’t even see my face?”

“Nope, I’m well aware of that all.”

More tears fell down, Mark violently shook his head around, pulling his knees to his chest. He couldn’t believe he had been complaining for so long, while his soulmate had it so much worse. How was he even supposed to know who was his soulmate? There isn’t any verification, he just has to depend on what people tell him. He is forced to believe that Mark is telling the truth.

“Oh no, are you crying? I’m so sorry, did I say something wrong? Are you sad that I’m blind? It’s alright, I am too. I would absolutely love to see your face and memorize how beautiful you are!”

Ethan crouched and wrapped his arms around Mark, nuzzling his face into Mark’s neck, gently rubbing his forearms to calm him down. Mark held the back of Ethan’s head, his heart rapidly beating, the cuteness of Ethan eliminating all his bad thoughts of him being blind. Saerla sniffed the other side of Mark’s face, licking it, then sitting down.

Mark proceeded to sob harder.

He was too busy being overwhelmed by Ethan being so adorable and nice, that he forget they were still on the floor, he was sobbing, and they were in a public store. Kathryn suddenly turned the corner, trying to find Ethan with four books in her arms, immediately halting when seeing them.

“Ethan? What are you…?”

“Oh! Kathryn! I found my soulmate! Isn’t he absolutely stunning?”

“Y-Yeah, yeah he is. He’s also a boy, definitely a boy, oh my god.”

Mark’s eyes widened, softly pushing Ethan off of him, his face on fire. He struggled to give Kathryn a reassuring smile, dropping his head once again when feeling like he failed already. Ethan only smiled widely at her, enthusiastically clapping his hands, reaching his hand out to grasp Mark’s.

“Ethan, your soulmate is a boy!”

“A very pretty boy I might add.”

“You can’t even fucking see him -”

“- But I know he’s beautiful and that’s all it takes.”

Groaning, Kathryn helped them both stand up, giving Mark a weird look. He moved closer to his grinning Ethan, tears still falling down, shyly holding his hand while staring down at the now colored floor.

“Ok, if you’re going to be his soulmate and all, you need to look up and watch where he’s going.”

“Hey!”

“Just in case, just in case.”

Ethan pouted, looking over at Mark, playfully sticking out his tongue, causing Mark to chuckle. Leaning forward, he pecked Mark’s lips, causing the black haired man to burst into flames on the inside, breaking into a huge smile.

“Ethan, you’re fucking twenty-two, I never would’ve thought you’d get your soulmate so young!”

“You’re twenty-two?,” Mark looked up at Ethan, forgetting he couldn’t really stare back. He watched the bouncy man nod, flashing him a toothy grin.

“Yup! How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

Gasping, Kathryn brought her books to her chest, her eyes blown out wide. Ethan awed at the younger, rubbing his nose against his, leaving a tiny kiss on top of it. He blushed as Kathryn gagged in the background, unable to handle their cuteness.

Mark’s thoughts were racing at the speed of light, not being able to sit and focus on one thought at a time. He couldn’t believe he found his soulmate, that he was blind and a boy. What type of luck did he get? He definitely thought the blindness was a down, but was Ethan being a boy that bad? Why would it be any better than if he was a girl? The world thought they were meant for each other, so why not accept it now and dwell on it later.

“Shit, I forgot, I came here with my friend. Can I go and get him?”

Ethan nodded at him, rubbing his back as Mark quickly walked away with a red face.

Frantically searching around the store, Mark struggled to calm his thoughts, searching around in a place with blinding colors. Spotting Tyler’s familiar face, Mark stared from a distance, soaking in all the different colors and shades he was. His beanie was the brightest color on his body, but Mark didn’t know the name of it.

“Tyler! Tyler!”

He walked quickly over to him, surprising Tyler by how loud Mark was talking.

“Hey, you done looking for books?”

“No, Tyler, I found my soulmate. I-I found my soulmate and he’s blind.”

“Wait wait wait, hold on. You found your soulmate? He’s blind? He?”

Mark only groaned, grabbing Tyler’s wrist and dragging him down the escalator. He was already sick of people questioning him about having his soulmate be a boy, which is weird since he was just confused by it less than five minutes before. He headed back to where the vinyls were, stopping to watch Kathryn read the names to Ethan.

“Is that him?”, Tyler whispered, his heartbeat loud in his ears with excitement. Mark slowly nodded, gradually walking to his soulmate, awkwardly standing in front of him.

“Um, I got my friend.”

Tyler was about to wave a hello, but before he could, he immediately shot his hand down. Kathryn eyed him in an odd way, making both Tyler and Mark uneasy.

“Great! Oh, I never told you my name! I’m Ethan!”

“I’m Mark, nice to meet you.”

“Don’t get all formal with me mister, I’m your goddamn soulmate.”

Chuckling, Tyler stared at Ethan with awe, feeling so elevated that Mark found his sweet soulmate. Ethan stood in a way that his hip was sticking out, both hands on his waist, standing with complete sass. Laughing, Kathryn shoved his shoulder, smiling at Tyler and Mark.

=+=+=

Tyler drove back to his home letting Mark go home with Ethan and Kathryn. He could trust those two, right? They seemed nice enough, plus Mark’s his soulmate so they won’t do anything too bad. He can call him if anything goes bad.

Kathryn made sure everyone was alright before driving back to her house, leaving Ethan and Mark alone. Ethan patted the space beside him on his bed, motioning for Mark to sit. The 1975 softly played in the background, Ethan too excited about buying the vinyl that he had to immediately play it. He rested his head on Mark’s shoulder, calmly drawing shapes into the younger’s thigh.

Mark scrolled through his phone, researching all the color’s names, wanting to soak up all that he could. Two colors really stuck out to him, which were red and blue. It just reminded him of so much, his family, his past, himself, Ethan. Oh how he wished he could show the colors to Ethan, he desperately wanted to. All the colors were just too beautiful for Ethan to be starved of them.

“I know you can’t see them, but colors are so fucking breathtaking, especially red and blue.”

Ethan titled his head up, his chin resting on Mark’s shoulder, his face so close. His small puffs of air warmed his neck, bringing a delicate smile on Mark’s face.

“Can you explain them for me?”

Mark let out a small gasp of surprise, staring at him with a curious stare, racking his brain to see how he could tell them.

“Well, you know the ocean?,” Ethan nodded, nuzzling his face into Mark’s neck. “Imagine the sound of the waves crashing, the cold water drenching your fingertips as you dip them in, the crisp air nipping at your face. Your clothes are a bit soaked but it doesn’t feel bad, and a calm energy swifts you away with the wind. That’s the color blue.”

“Have you said something embarrassing and a warmth climbs up your face? Or when you’re in bed and wrapped up in a blanket. That’s like red. Red is like warmth but the only reason red is different from orange is the fact that it’s so intense. Like so extremely hot that it burns. That’s red for you.”

Ethan is near tears after hearing Mark’s description because there’s a small part of him that can faintly imagine it. A mini part that feels like he could see the colors he explain. Crying is because for a tiny, tiny moment, he feels normal.

But before he can cherish it, the feeling is gone. Completely drained out, leaving his same old empty feeling of want he can never fulfill. Luckily, the feeling is almost ignored when Mark’s arms wrapped around him, his chest big and warm.

Mark was still a bit shaky with it all, and anxious to even be around his soulmate for god’s sake, but he hopes it’ll get better with time. But for now, he’ll just enjoy Ethan’s company and try his hardest to love him, even though a small part of him still thinks it’s stupid. Just a little less dumb now.


End file.
